I danced to lady gaga tonight. Fucked.

A part of living boldly is letting go.

David Foster – Commencement Speech

Greetings and congratulations to Kenyon's graduating class of 2005. There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?"

This is a standard requirement of US commencement speeches, the deployment of didactic little parable-ish stories. The story turns out to be one of the better, less bull-shitty conventions of the genre, but if you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the wise, older fish explaining what water is to you younger fish, please don't be. I am not the wise old fish. The point of the fish story is merely that the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about. Stated as an English sentence, of course, this is just a banal platitude, but the fact is that in the day to day trenches of adult existence, banal platitudes can have a life or death importance, or so I wish to suggest to you on this dry and lovely morning.

Of course the main requirement of speeches like this is that I'm supposed to talk about your liberal arts education's meaning, to try to explain why the degree you are about to receive has actual human value instead of just a material payoff. So let's talk about the single most pervasive cliché in the commencement speech genre, which is that a liberal arts education is not so much about filling you up with knowledge as it is about quote teaching you how to think. If you're like me as a student, you've never liked hearing this, and you tend to feel a bit insulted by the claim that you needed anybody to teach you how to think, since the fact that you even got admitted to a college this good seems like proof that you already know how to think. But I'm going to posit to you that the liberal arts cliché turns out not to be insulting at all, because the really significant education in thinking that we're supposed to get in a place like this isn't really about the capacity to think, but rather about the choice of what to think about. If you're total freedom of choice regarding what to think about seems too obvious to waste time discussing, I'd ask you to think about fish and water, and to bracket for just a few minutes your skepticism about the value of the totally obvious.

Here's another didactic little story. There are these two guys sitting together in a bar in the remote Alaskan wilderness. One of the guys is religious, the other is an atheist, and the two are arguing about the existence of God with that special intensity that comes after about the fourth beer. And the atheist says: "Look, it's not like I don't have actual reasons for not believing in God. It's not like I haven't ever experimented with the whole God and prayer thing. Just last month I got caught away from the camp in that terrible blizzard, and I was totally lost and I couldn't see a thing, and it was fifty below, and so I tried it: I fell to my knees in the snow and cried out 'Oh, God, if there is a God, I'm lost in this blizzard, and I'm gonna die if you don't help me.'" And now, in the bar, the religious guy looks at the atheist all puzzled. "Well then you must believe now," he says, "After all, here you are, alive." The atheist just rolls his eyes. "No, man, all that was a couple Eskimos happened to come wandering by and showed me the way back to camp."

It's easy to run this story through kind of a standard liberal arts analysis: the exact same experience can mean two totally different things to two different people, given those people's two different belief templates and two different ways of constructing meaning from experience. Because we prize tolerance and diversity of belief, nowhere in our liberal arts analysis do we want to claim that one guy's interpretation is true and the other guy's is false or bad. This is fine, except we also never end up talking about just where these individual templates and beliefs come from. Meaning, where they come from INSIDE the two guys. As if a person's most basic orientation toward the world, and the meaning of his experience were somehow just hard-wired, like height or shoe-size; or automatically absorbed from the culture, like language. As if how we construct meaning were not actually matters of personal, intentional choice. Plus, there's the whole matter of arrogance. The nonreligious guy is so totally certain in his dismissal of the possibility that the passing Eskimos had anything to do with his prayer for help. True, there are plenty of religious people who seem arrogant and certain of their own interpretations, too. They're probably even more repulsive than atheists, at least to most of us. But religious dogmatists' problem is exactly the same as the story's unbeliever: blind certainty, a close-mindedness that amounts to an imprisonment so total that the prisoner doesn't even know he's locked up.

The point here is that I think this is one part of what teaching me how to think is really supposed to mean. To be just a little less arrogant. To have just a little critical awareness about myself and my certainties. Because a huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. I have learned this the hard way, as I predict you graduates will, too.

Here is just one example of the total wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe; the realist, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centeredness because it's so socially repulsive. But it's pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you are not the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is there in front of YOU or behind YOU, to the left or right of YOU, on YOUR TV or YOUR monitor. And so on. Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real.

Please don't worry that I'm getting ready to lecture you about compassion or other-directedness or all the so-called virtues. This is not a matter of virtue. It's a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting which is to be deeply and literally self-centered and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self. People who can adjust their natural default setting this way are often described as being "well-adjusted", which I suggest to you, is not an accidental term.

Given the triumphant academic setting here, an obvious question is how much of this work of adjusting our default setting involves actual knowledge or intellect. This question gets very tricky. Probably the most dangerous thing about an academic education -- least in my own case -- is that it enables my tendency to over-intellectualize stuff, to get lost in abstract argument inside my head, instead of simply paying attention to what is going on right in front of me, paying attention to what is going on inside me.

As I'm sure you guys know by now, it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head (may be happening right now). Twenty years after my own graduation, I have come gradually to understand that the liberal arts cliché about teaching you how to think is actually shorthand for a much deeper, more serious idea: learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. Think of the old cliché about quote the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master.

This, like many clichés, so lame and unexciting on the surface, actually expresses a great and terrible truth. It is not the least bit coincidental that adults who commit suicide with firearms almost always shoot themselves in: the head. They shoot the terrible master. And the truth is that most of these suicides are actually dead long before they pull the trigger.

And I submit that this is what the real, no bullshit value of your liberal arts education is supposed to be about: how to keep from going through your comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life dead, unconscious, a slave to your head and to your natural default setting of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone day in and day out. That may sound like hyperbole, or abstract nonsense. Let's get concrete. The plain fact is that you graduating seniors do not yet have any clue what "day in day out" really means. There happen to be whole, large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration. The parents and older folks here will know all too well what I'm talking about.

By way of example, let's say it's an average adult day, and you get up in the morning, go to your challenging, white-collar, college-graduate job, and you work hard for eight or ten hours, and at the end of the day you're tired and somewhat stressed and all you want is to go home and have a good supper and maybe unwind for an hour, and then hit the sack early because, of course, you have to get up the next day and do it all again. But then you remember there's no food at home. You haven't had time to shop this week because of your challenging job, and so now after work you have to get in your car and drive to the supermarket. It's the end of the work day and the traffic is apt to be: very bad. So getting to the store takes way longer than it should, and when you finally get there, the supermarket is very crowded, because of course it's the time of day when all the other people with jobs also try to squeeze in some grocery shopping. And the store is hideously lit and infused with soul-killing muzak or corporate pop and it's pretty much the last place you want to be but you can't just get in and quickly out; you have to wander all over the huge, over-lit store's confusing aisles to find the stuff you want and you have to maneuver your junky cart through all these other tired, hurried people with carts (et cetera, et cetera, cutting stuff out because this is a long ceremony) and eventually you get all your supper supplies, except now it turns out there aren't enough check-out lanes open even though it's the end-of-the-day rush. So the checkout line is incredibly long, which is stupid and infuriating. But you can't take your frustration out on the frantic lady working the register, who is overworked at a job whose daily tedium and meaninglessness surpasses the imagination of any of us here at a prestigious college.

But anyway, you finally get to the checkout line's front, and you pay for your food, and you get told to "Have a nice day" in a voice that is the absolute voice of death. Then you have to take your creepy, flimsy, plastic bags of groceries in your cart with the one crazy wheel that pulls maddeningly to the left, all the way out through the crowded, bumpy, littered parking lot, and then you have to drive all the way home through slow, heavy, SUV-intensive, rush-hour traffic, et cetera et cetera.

Everyone here has done this, of course. But it hasn't yet been part of you graduates' actual life routine, day after week after month after year.

But it will be. And many more dreary, annoying, seemingly meaningless routines besides. But that is not the point. The point is that petty, frustrating crap like this is exactly where the work of choosing is gonna come in. Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don't make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I'm gonna be pissed and miserable every time I have to shop. Because my natural default setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me. About MY hungriness and MY fatigue and MY desire to just get home, and it's going to seem for all the world like everybody else is just in my way. And who are all these people in my way? And look at how repulsive most of them are, and how stupid and cow-like and dead-eyed and nonhuman they seem in the checkout line, or at how annoying and rude it is that people are talking loudly on cell phones in the middle of the line. And look at how deeply and personally unfair this is.

Or, of course, if I'm in a more socially conscious liberal arts form of my default setting, I can spend time in the end-of-the-day traffic being disgusted about all the huge, stupid, lane-blocking SUV's and Hummers and V-12 pickup trucks, burning their wasteful, selfish, forty-gallon tanks of gas, and I can dwell on the fact that the patriotic or religious bumper-stickers always seem to be on the biggest, most disgustingly selfish vehicles, driven by the ugliest most disgustingly selfish vehicles, driven by the ugliest, most inconsiderate and aggressive drivers. And I can think about how our children's children will despise us for wasting all the future's fuel, and probably screwing up the climate, and how spoiled and stupid and selfish and disgusting we all are, and how modern consumer society just sucks, and so forth and so on.

You get the idea.

If I choose to think this way in a store and on the freeway, fine. Lots of us do. Except thinking this way tends to be so easy and automatic that it doesn't have to be a choice. It is my natural default setting. It's the automatic way that I experience the boring, frustrating, crowded parts of adult life when I'm operating on the automatic, unconscious belief that I am the center of the world, and that my immediate needs and feelings are what should determine the world's priorities.

The thing is that, of course, there are totally different ways to think about these kinds of situations. In this traffic, all these vehicles stopped and idling in my way, it's not impossible that some of these people in SUV's have been in horrible auto accidents in the past, and now find driving so terrifying that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive. Or that the Hummer that just cut me off is maybe being driven by a father whose little child is hurt or sick in the seat next to him, and he's trying to get this kid to the hospital, and he's in a bigger, more legitimate hurry than I am: it is actually I who am in HIS way.

Or I can choose to force myself to consider the likelihood that everyone else in the supermarket's checkout line is just as bored and frustrated as I am, and that some of these people probably have harder, more tedious and painful lives than I do.

Again, please don't think that I'm giving you moral advice, or that I'm saying you are supposed to think this way, or that anyone expects you to just automatically do it. Because it's hard. It takes will and effort, and if you are like me, some days you won't be able to do it or you just flat out won't want to.

But most days, if you're aware enough to give yourself a choice, you can choose to look differently at this fat, dead-eyed, over-made-up lady who just screamed at her kid in the checkout line. Maybe she's not usually like this. Maybe she's been up three straight nights holding the hand of a husband who is dying of bone cancer. Or maybe this very lady is the low-wage clerk at the motor vehicle department, who just yesterday helped your spouse resolve a horrific, infuriating, red-tape problem through some small act of bureaucratic kindness. Of course, none of this is likely, but it's also not impossible. It just depends what you what to consider. If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won't consider possibilities that aren't annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down.

Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're gonna try to see it.

This, I submit, is the freedom of a real education, of learning how to be well-adjusted. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.

Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship -- be it JC or Allah, bet it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles -- is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.

Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings.

They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing.

And the so-called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving and [unintelligible -- sounds like "displayal"]. The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.

That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

I know that this stuff probably doesn't sound fun and breezy or grandly inspirational the way a commencement speech is supposed to sound. What it is, as far as I can see, is the capital-T Truth, with a whole lot of rhetorical niceties stripped away. You are, of course, free to think of it whatever you wish. But please don't just dismiss it as just some finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon. None of this stuff is really about morality or religion or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death.

The capital-T Truth is about life BEFORE death.

It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:

"This is water."

"This is water."

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really IS the job of a lifetime. And it commences: now.

I wish you way more than luck.

 

Note:
Famous author David Foster Wallace, best known for his work "Infinite Jest" committed suicide at the age of 46 in September 2008

 

 

Security – by Hunter S. Thompson

Let us visualize the secure man; and by this term, I mean a man who has settled for financial and personal security for his goal in life. In general, he is a man who has pushed ambition and initiative aside and settled down, so to speak, in a boring, but safe and comfortable rut for the rest of his life. His future is but an extension of his present, and he accepts it as such with a complacent shrug of his shoulders. His ideas and ideals are those of society in general and he is accepted as a respectable, but average and prosaic man. But is he a man? has he any self-respect or pride in himself? How could he, when he has risked nothing and gained nothing? What does he think when he sees his youthful dreams of adventure, accomplishment, travel and romance buried under the cloak of conformity? How does he feel when he realizes that he has barely tasted the meal of life; when he sees the prison he has made for himself in pursuit of the almighty dollar? If he thinks this is all well and good, fine, but think of the tragedy of a man who has sacrificed his freedom on the altar of security, and wishes he could turn back the hands of time. A man is to be pitied who lacked the courage to accept the challenge of freedom and depart from the cushion of security and see life as it is instead of living it second-hand. Life has by-passed this man and he has watched from a secure place, afraid to seek anything better What has he done except to sit and wait for the tomorrow which never comes?

Turn back the pages of history and see the men who have shaped the destiny of the world. Security was never theirs, but they lived rather than existed. Where would the world be if all men had sought security and not taken risks or gambled with their lives on the chance that, if they won, life would be different and richer? It is from the bystanders (who are in the vast majority) that we receive the propaganda that life is not worth living, that life is drudgery, that the ambitions of youth must he laid aside for a life which is but a painful wait for death. These are the ones who squeeze what excitement they can from life out of the imaginations and experiences of others through books and movies. These are the insignificant and forgotten men who preach conformity because it is all they know. These are the men who dream at night of what could have been, but who wake at dawn to take their places at the now-familiar rut and to merely exist through another day. For them, the romance of life is long dead and they are forced to go through the years on a treadmill, cursing their existence, yet afraid to die because of the unknown which faces them after death. They lacked the only true courage: the kind which enables men to face the unknown regardless of the consequences.

As an afterthought, it seems hardly proper to write of life without once mentioning happiness; so we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

 

Dailymotion - ATB - Let you go - une vid�o Musique

Dailymotion - ATB - Let you go - une vid�o Musique

ENFP Forum - The Inspirers - PersonalityCafe

ENFP Forum - The Inspirers - PersonalityCafe

Faith

M

ay you listen to the voice within when you are tired. When you feel yourself breaking down, may you break open instead. May every experience in life be a door that opens your heart, expands your understanding, and leads you to freedom. If you are weary, may your be aroused by passion and purpose. If you are blameful and bitter, may you be sweetened by hope and humor. If you are frightened, may you be emboldened by a big consciousness far wiser then you fear. If you are lonely, may you find love, may you find friendship. If you are lost, may you understand that we are all lost, and still we are guided by our better and kinder natures, by the vibrant voice within. May you follow that voice, for this is the way, the life worth living, the reason we are here. – Elizabeth Lesser

Creating Effective Goals

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

It's time to replace your clock with a compass so you can head out in the right direction.

 
 

Why is it important to set goals?

 
 

 Goals are important because you will get what you strive for.  By actively thinking about what you intend to accomplish, you will work on achieving those accomplishments.  Any area of your life which you focus on will improve, simply because you take the time to assess your habits.

         
 

Setting Effective Goals

 
 

 When you set goals, you need to take many questions into account: what, when, why, and how.  What are you going to accomplish?  Be sure to be concrete about your answer.  When are you going to complete the task, or achieve your goal?  Why is this important to you?  How are you going to realize your goal; what is your strategy? 

 
 

          There is an easy acronym to help you create effective goals:

                   S  - Specific

                   M - Measurable

                   A  - Attainable

                   R  - Realistic

                   T  - Timed

 
 

You need to create specific goals.  The goal "I want to become a better swimmer" is almost impossible to judge because it is not specific enough.  A better goal would be "I want to earn my bronze medallion by next June" or "I want to swim 10 laps of the pool twice a week." 

 
 

The reason that "I want to earn my bronze medallion by next June" is a more effective goal is that it is measurable.  There is a clear marker of achievement that you can earn.

 
 

Goals need to be attainable.  It is not only unproductive to say "I want to lose 40 pounds by next week," it is also counter-productive.  Unattainable goals are counter-productive because when you make a goal that you do not achieve, you experience an emotional let-down.  It is not wise or healthy to get your heart set on something that is out of reach.  However, keep in mind that goals should also be a stretch. 

 
 

This is not to say that your goals cannot be large: they can!  But your goals also need to be realistic.  If you set a goal that is unrealistic and attempt to work towards it, you will exhaust yourself and your resources.  Rather than setting one large goal in a short time-frame, instead, create smaller goals that will lead you to accomplishing your long-term goal.  Breaking your goals into smaller chunks helps you create goals that are more specific, often more measurable, more attainable, more realistic, while creating a time-line for your larger goal.  Having mini-goals is one of the keys of successful goal setting.

 
 

The idea of creating smaller goals leads us to the idea that goals need to be timed.  Putting a timeframe on your goal ensures that it will not drop down to the bottom of your priority list.  It also makes measuring your goal easier.  Saying "I will sell $500 before 5 o'clock this afternoon" means that at 5:00 you will stop to check your progress.

 
 

When you create smaller goals in order to achieve your larger goals, be sure that they are on a timeline as well.  If your large goal is to find a better job at Company X by next Christmas, your smaller goals could be on a weekly basis.  For your first week, you would create a contact at Company X and attempt to establish if there are any openings.  Week two, you could update your resume and cover-letter.  Week three, you would make a follow-up phone call.  Your smaller goals would function as milestones that are attainable and realistic, while still being specific, measurable, and timed.

 
 

One of my favourite quotes is "We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a year."  I see this time and time again.  Great things can be accomplished over long periods if we keep heading in the right direction.

 
 

Because goals are so important, when you begin to create your workbook, we will focus on how best to express your goals in your workbook.

 
 

Setting your Goals

         
 

The best goal setting exercise that I know takes only 40 minutes.  Take this time to establish your goals now.

 
 

In order to achieve goals that are SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timed), it is important to make sure that your goals are focused on many aspects of your life.

 
 

I take into account 11 major areas when I establish my goals:

 
 

1.  Career

2.  Earnings

3.  Personal relationships

4.  Family

5.  Health

6.  Spiritual

7.   Personal appearance

8.  Education/learning

9.  Free time/hobby

10.  Vacation

11. Improve your home

 
 

Consider having goals in each of these 11 areas.  Add new areas if there is something important to you that you feel is not covered.

 
 

 
 

A 60-Minute Goal Setting Exercise that can save you 100 hours in the next month

I think that most people would agree that the people who have goals are more successful than those who do not have any.

I often talk about leadership and management. Leadership is about doing the right things while management is about doing things right. Often when we study time management, we study efficiency (doing things right) and make the assumption that we have the effectiveness (leadership) solved.

The first step in any time management system should be to work on goals and as such, I use the following 60 Minute Goal Setting Exercise.

Step 1: at the top of a blank piece of paper write down "values" and then spend 10 to 15 minutes writing down everything that you value. There is a great website: www.stevepavlina.com/ that has a list of several hundred values to start your mind thinking in the right direction. After the time is up, stop doing this and move to Step 2.

Step 2: at the top of a blank piece of paper write down "lifetime goals". This is where you can dream; for example, what places would you like to visit; what experiences would you like to have; what would you like to accomplish within your lifetime. This might include traveling to Australia; getting a university degree; living in an X square foot house, etc. There are no rules to this brainstorming - simply make a list.

I have done this goal setting exercise many times and I tend to use the same list of lifetime goals and add to the list each time I do the exercise.

Step 3: at the top of a blank piece of paper write down what you would do if you had six months to live. This part of the exercise really came home to me this week when one of my close friends died at 36 years old. Some of us may have only six months to live; however, we may not know it yet. List everything that you would do if you had only six months to live. Part of the purpose of this exercise that I found works well for me is that it brings the truly important into focus. Often I find things that I would do if I had only six months to live that are not listed on my life time goals.

Step 4: at the top of a blank piece of paper write down your goals for this year. After doing the first three steps, you will find this step much easier than the others. These are the goals to focus on NOW.

This total exercise will only take an hour. An hour spent clarifying your goals can save you hundreds of hours.

 
 

Here is the same exercise; it has been expanded on to help you get started.

 
 

Your Four Pages

 
 

Take four blank pages, and label each one at the top: Values, Lifetime, Six Months to Live, and One Year Goals.  You will spend ten minutes (and only ten minutes) to fill out each sheet to describe you and your goals.

 
 

1. Values

          On this page, list your values. 

 
 

The following list of values from Steve Pavlina might stimulate your thought:

 
 

 

1.      Abundance

2.      Acceptance

3.      Accessibility

4.      Accomplishment

5.      Accuracy

6.      Achievement

7.      Acknowledgement

8.      Activeness

9.      Adaptability

10.  Adoration

11.  Adroitness

12.  Adventure

13.  Affection

14.  Affluence

15.  Aggressiveness

16.  Agility

17.  Alertness

18.  Altruism

19.  Ambition

20.  Amusement

21.  Anticipation

22.  Appreciation

23.  Approachability

24.  Articulacy

25.  Assertiveness

26.  Assurance

27.  Attentiveness

28.  Attractiveness

29.  Audacity

30.  Availability

31.  Awareness

32.  Awe

33.  Balance

34.  Beauty

35.  Being the best

36.  Belonging

37.  Benevolence

38.  Bliss

39.  Boldness

40.  Bravery

41.  Brilliance

42.  Buoyancy

43.  Calmness

44.  Camaraderie

45.  Candor

46.  Capability

47.  Care

48.  Carefulness

49.  Celebrity

50.  Certainty

51.  Challenge

52.  Charity

53.  Charm

54.  Chastity

55.  Cheerfulness

56.  Clarity

57.  Cleanliness

58.  Clear-mindedness

59.  Cleverness

60.  Closeness

61.  Comfort

62.  Commitment

63.  Compassion

64.  Completion

65.  Composure

66.  Concentration

67.  Confidence

68.  Conformity

69.  Congruency

70.  Connection

71.  Consciousness

72.  Consistency

73.  Contentment

74.  Continuity

75.  Contribution

76.  Control

77.  Conviction

78.  Conviviality

79.  Coolness

80.  Cooperation

81.  Cordiality

82.  Correctness

83.  Courage

84.  Courtesy

85.  Craftiness

86.  Creativity

87.  Credibility

88.  Cunning

89.  Curiosity

90.  Daring

91.  Decisiveness

92.  Decorum

93.  Deference

94.  Delight

95.  Dependability

96.  Depth

97.  Desire

98.  Determination

99.  Devotion

100.   Devoutness

101.   Dexterity

102.   Dignity

103.   Diligence

104.   Direction

105.   Directness

106.   Discipline

107.   Discovery

108.   Discretion

109.   Diversity

110.   Dominance

111.   Dreaming

112.   Drive

113.   Duty

114.   Dynamism

115.   Eagerness

116.   Economy

117.   Ecstasy

118.   Education

119.   Effectiveness

120.   Efficiency

121.   Elation

122.   Elegance

123.   Empathy

124.   Encouragement

125.   Endurance

126.   Energy

127.   Enjoyment

128.   Entertainment

129.   Enthusiasm

130.   Excellence

131.   Excitement

132.   Exhilaration

133.   Expectancy

134.   Expediency

135.   Experience

136.   Expertise

137.   Exploration

138.   Expressiveness

139.   Extravagance

140.   Extroversion

141.   Exuberance

142.   Fairness

143.   Faith

144.   Fame

145.   Family

146.   Fascination

147.   Fashion

148.   Fearlessness

149.   Ferocity

150.   Fidelity

151.   Fierceness

152.   Financial independence

153.   Firmness

154.   Fitness

155.   Flexibility

156.   Flow

157.   Fluency

158.   Focus

159.   Fortitude

160.       Frankness

161.       Freedom

162.       Friendliness

163.       Frugality

164.       Fun

165.       Gallantry

166.       Generosity

167.       Gentility

168.       Giving

169.       Grace

170.       Gratitude

171.       Gregariousness

172.       Growth

173.       Guidance

174.       Happiness

175.       Harmony

176.       Health

177.       Heart

178.       Helpfulness

179.       Heroism

180.       Holiness

181.       Honesty

182.       Honor

183.       Hopefulness

184.       Hospitality

185.       Humility

186.       Humor

187.       Hygiene

188.       Imagination

189.       Impact

190.       Impartiality

191.       Independence

192.       Industry

193.       Ingenuity

194.       Inquisitiveness

195.       Insightfulness

196.       Inspiration

197.       Integrity

198.       Intelligence

199.       Intensity

200.       Intimacy

201.       Intrepidness

202.       Introversion

203.       Intuition

204.       Intuitiveness

205.       Inventiveness

206.       Investing

207.       Joy

208.       Judiciousness

209.       Justice

210.       Keenness

211.       Kindness

212.       Knowledge

213.       Leadership

214.       Learning

215.       Liberation

216.       Liberty

217.       Liveliness

218.       Logic

219.       Longevity

220.       Love

221.       Loyalty

222.       Majesty

223.       Making a difference

224.       Mastery

225.       Maturity

226.       Meekness

227.       Mellowness

228.       Meticulousness

229.       Mindfulness

230.       Modesty

231.       Motivation

232.       Mysteriousness

233.       Neatness

234.       Nerve

235.       Obedience

236.       Open-mindedness

237.       Openness

238.       Optimism

239.       Order

240.       Organization

241.       Originality

242.       Outlandishness

243.       Outrageousness

244.       Passion

245.       Peace

246.       Perceptiveness

247.       Perfection

248.       Perkiness

249.       Perseverance

250.       Persistence

251.       Persuasiveness

252.       Philanthropy

253.       Piety

254.       Playfulness

255.       Pleasantness

256.       Pleasure

257.       Poise

258.       Polish

259.       Popularity

260.       Potency

261.       Power

262.       Practicality

263.       Pragmatism

264.       Precision

265.       Preparedness

266.       Presence

267.       Privacy

268.       Proactivity

269.       Professionalism

270.       Prosperity

271.       Prudence

272.       Punctuality

273.       Purity

274.       Realism

275.       Reason

276.       Reasonableness

277.       Recognition

278.       Recreation

279.       Refinement

280.       Reflection

281.       Relaxation

282.       Reliability

283.       Religiousness

284.       Resilience

285.       Resolution

286.       Resolve

287.       Resourcefulness

288.       Respect

289.       Rest

290.       Restraint

291.       Reverence

292.       Richness

293.       Rigor

294.       Sacredness

295.       Sacrifice

296.       Sagacity

297.       Saintliness

298.       Sanguinity

299.       Satisfaction

300.       Security

301.       Self-control

302.       Selflessness

303.       Self-reliance

304.       Sensitivity

305.       Sensuality

306.       Serenity

307.       Service

308.       Sexuality

309.       Sharing

310.       Shrewdness

311.       Significance

312.       Silence

313.       Silliness

314.       Simplicity

315.       Sincerity

316.       Skillfulness

317.       Solidarity

318.       Solitude

319.       Soundness

320.       Speed

321.       Spirit

322.       Spirituality

323.       Spontaneity

324.       Spunk

325.       Stability

326.       Stealth

327.       Stillness

328.       Strength

329.       Structure

330.       Success

331.       Support

332.       Supremacy

333.       Surprise

334.       Sympathy

335.       Synergy

336.       Teamwork

337.       Temperance

338.       Thankfulness

339.       Thoroughness

340.       Thoughtfulness

341.       Thrift

342.       Tidiness

343.       Timeliness

344.       Traditionalism

345.       Tranquility

346.       Transcendence

347.       Trust

348.       Trustworthiness

349.       Truth

350.       Understanding

351.       Unflappability

352.       Uniqueness

353.       Unity

354.       Usefulness

355.       Utility

356.       Valor

357.       Variety

358.       Victory

359.       Vigor

360.       Virtue

361.       Vision

362.       Vitality

363.       Vivacity

364.       Warmth

365.       Watchfulness

366.       Wealth

367.       Willfulness

368.       Willingness

369.       Winning

370.       Wisdom

371.       Wittiness

372.       Wonder

373.       Youthfulness

374.       Zeal

 

 
 

You don't have to choose values from this list; you can make up your own.  This list is just to get you thinking.

 

 
 

 
 

 
 

2. Lifetime

 
 

 On your second page, list what you want to accomplish, experience, or become in the course of your lifetime. 

 
 

This list is one that you can add to at any time.  I have moved my lifetime goal list to my workbook.  Whenever I see something that looks really cool, I can add that to my list.  In my workbook, my lifetime goal list keeps on growing and growing until I have pages filled with things that I would like to accomplish, experience, or be.

 
 

         
 

3. Six Months to Live

 
 

On your third page you write down all the things that you would want to do if you had six months to live.

 
 

 
 

The benefit of this page is that it helps you refocus.  I find that when I write this list, it is often very different from the lifetime goal list, and it gives me a new perspective on my goals.  If I had only six months to live, maybe I would spend more time with my family.  Maybe I would want to travel, and swim with the dolphins in New Zealand.  These goals are often different than lifetime goals and are also important to keep in mind while planning your life.         

 
 

4. One Year Goals

 
 

For this final page, you can look at your other pages to create a list of goals that you would like to accomplish this year.  Be sure to take some goals from your list of lifetime goals, and plan to achieve them in the next year.  Remember that these are goals, and so must be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timed.  Define your goals carefully. 

 
 

 
 

If you have not already done so, take ten minutes to complete each goal sheet: Values, Lifetime, Six Months to Live, and One Year Goals.

 

 
 

Congratulations on completing these goal sheets! 

You have taken the first step to a more productive lifestyle in which you will be able to accomplish your goals.

Choosing your Top Four or Five Goals

Once you have completed these four sheets, you assess what you have written and you choose your top goals for to work on for that month.  For my top goals, I only choose goals on which I am willing to work an hour a week.  If you are not willing to spend one hour a week on each of your top goals, then clearly these goals are not that important to you at this time.

 
 

Now that you have selected your top goals, you have a couple of options on how you want to proceed that are outlined below.

 
 

When I complete these four sheets, I then take a business card and I write down my top goals.  I don't write the entire goal out; I just write a brief note that reminds me what my goal is.  For instance, if my goal is to have tomatoes grow in my garden this summer, I might just write "Garden."  Then, every day for the month, I look at my business card once in the morning.  I put a copy of the business card on my To Do list so that I see it many times during the day. 

 
 

Another approach to your top four goals is to write them out a certain number of times every day.  You can also say them aloud every day.  Some people record their goals on tape and listen to them every day while doing other activities, such as exercising, driving, or falling asleep in bed at night. 

 
 

You can tell other people what your goals are to get support.  It is best to tell other people your 'stop goals,' because people will definitely want to tell you to stop detrimental habits.  Don't tell people your 'get goals' because you might be ridiculed, or they might be envious of your high aspirations.  Using other people to help achieve your goals is a valuable tool, but it depends on the people around you and how supportive their attitudes are. 

 
 

Another useful tool is visualization.  Imagine how things will be when you accomplish the goal.  The more vivid your imagination, the more effective your visualization will be.  How will people treat you?  What will it feel like?  Where will you be?  What time of day is it? 

 
 

You can use any of these tools in conjunction with each other.

 

Habits

 
 

Frequently, my goals are something that I want to become a habit.  Once I have achieved my goal and created a new habit, I can take it off my top goals list.  For example, I like to eat right.  If I have slipped into poor eating habits lately, then eating a balanced diet could be on my top goals.  When healthy eating is once more a positive habit in my life, then I can take it off my list.

 
 

Speaking of habits, I want to reiterate that this really is the key to success.  We are the result of what we repeatedly do.  So I spend a lot of time figuring out what my habits should be.  I call them success habits.  For me, this is as important as goal setting. 

 
 

I redo my top goals (that I keep on business cards in strategic locations) every month or every six weeks. Be sure to keep your top four goals up to date: but don't change them until you have accomplished your goal or formed your new habit.

 
 

 
 

Some Final Notes on Goals

 
 

Make sure that every action in your life supports your goals.  Use your workbook to track your progress on your goals. 

 
 

Some goals that I have are too big or too daunting.  For these, I break them down into smaller parts.  One big goal becomes a series of smaller subgoals.  A side benefit of this is often the subgoals can be done simultaneously or the subgoals are different enough that I can spend more combined time on them than I would one any one single goal (This is a time trick – variety helps sometimes).

 
 

I also like to break big goals down into smaller time blocks since I can often do something in a short time.  If I have 5 minutes, it is better to be working on a subgoal for a top priority project than unimportant busywork that is not moving me towards my larger goal.

 
 

 
 

Start writing here.

headed to Dallas Texas.

Post

Nothing really important to say today. I'm looking forward to a short but sweet weekend.

Thank God summer is here. I just wanted to comment that I hope gas prices sore in the US. I realize the negative impact it will have on the wallets of friends, family and myself; however, i think it's the only way the American people will start to demand more from our government.

We elect officials--along party lines--and give the free reign to ignore the needs of American people and submit to the will of lobyist.

Life is what you make it

I am a firm believer that life is what you make it. My purpose behind this statement is not to negate the pain and suffering of others. All I’m saying is if you go through life expecting disappointment at best you will feel the occasional feeling of relief.

Personally, I think it’s much better to enjoy the moment, appreciate the pleasant surprises (no matter how small) and hope for a better tomorrow.